Tag Archives: Old Sayings

You Are Who Your Friends Are?

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On the way out the door, my mom said you know “you are who your friends are.” That evening, as I ran around with my friends, her words kept floating around in my head. That’s how all the best old sayings are; they stick in your head whether you want them to or not. Of course, this is the kind of old saying that young people sometimes hate. Young people want to believe they can run with any group they want but maintain their separate identities and make their own decisions. We live in a time when parents, schools, and churches are increasingly teaching tolerance and saying to treat everyone the same. Old sayings like this might sometimes seem like prejudice or intolerance. Can we both be tolerant and heed warnings like you are who your friends are; one bad apple can spoil the whole bunch, and if you lie with dogs, you end up with flees. All of these sayings are warnings to be careful about our associations. This is one of the more difficult things we must learn in life. Deciding who to be friends with is not easy, and sometimes, we are not in a position to pick our friends.  Sometimes, events seem to conspire to place us together with other people. All these sayings simply remind us that we are responsible for making positive decisions about our associations. We can be tolerant, open-minded, and forgiving, but we must also learn to say no to a friend or peer group. Sometimes, we may need to end a friendship or physically get up and leave a situation. This is not easy for anyone of any age, but it can be especially difficult for teens. These old sayings can help remind us to make deliberate and thoughtful decisions about whom we associate with and under what circumstances.

The Trouble with Trouble is it Starts out like Fun

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This picture was taken in the summer of 1963 at our home in Star City Arkansas. My little brother, David, on the right, has somehow managed to get himself cover in mud. That is me on the left and as you can see I am still pretty clean. For years I have been accused of somehow getting David muddy without getting myself muddy. Nobody knows how a four year old might have pulled this off but there is a generally held belief in my family that the grin on my face is strong circumstantial evidence that I was responsible.

I don’t know for sure but this may have been the day I first heard my mom say that “the trouble with trouble is it starts out like fun.” I heard her say that at least once a week when I was growing up. My brother and I were always into something and when she got old enough my younger sister was right there with us. One thing I can say about my childhood is we had fun, and yes, we often ended up in one kind of trouble or another. Fortunately the trouble we got into was usually the kind you could wash off. That is important.

The saying “the trouble with trouble is it starts out like fun” applies to all sorts of behaviors with drastically different consequences. It certainly applies to little boys and mud holes but it also applies to many more dangerous behaviors such as driving too fast, drinking excessively, and inappropriate relationships. The list of dangerous behaviors that seem fun at first but can quickly go bad is endless. We are all going to make mistakes but it is important we avoid those mistakes that cannot be undone. The goal is to teach our kids to measure risk and to know when it is time to walk away from a challenge, a dare, a fight, an unhealthy relationship or destructive friendship. The goal is to teach them to recognize for themselves that sometimes a few minutes of fun can result in a life time of consequences. The trouble with trouble, really is, that it starts out like fun.